Another year passing by

Another year passing by...

Was looking at some of the photos we took during last year's visit of Guru and
party from Mysore to Mangalore. Wondering how one whole year has flown by. Was
planning to quit Infosys at this time last year... And am still doing that, just trying.

Life seems to be stopped somewhere in Mangalore where I left it last year.
Same time of the year, May be same date, I will be reaching back (most probably that
is). About the same team size that I left it.. About the same state. No new projects.

Am planning to ask my manager to release me once I go back. Would like to
take some time off my normal work and something for myself. Even I am starting to
doubt my ability to do that now. Am only planning from a year now. As a new year
resolution I will try to get this thing done. Atleast start with the design of the
system.Let me start this tomorrow itself.

Just about to sleep

Was just lying on my bed when I started thinking about the money I am earning now
and how I plan to spend this. Have many options....
Invest in a housing loan, Get a big flat in Mumbai...
This will take away all of my savings and leave me with a loan which will
help me reduce my income tax liability. Will be repaying this over the next 20 years.
Some pitafalls in this. No one will give me a loan this big on my current offshore
salary. And My onsite is not reliable.
Invest in some business of my own.
This one is my most preferred option. But what to invest in? One thing I know
I can do is develop a Data acquisition system with the help of some of my friends.
Nothing so special in that, I already have a draft project ready from my Final year.
This can be further worked upon. Feasibility needs to be tested.
Do nothing...
Let this money lie around some more time and then I can think over how to
spend this.
Just another thought crossing my mind right now. Can I spare a part of this for the
village My dad originally came from? Of course yes, need to discuss this with papa
and get his opinion. Most people at home may not like this idea, but I can still test
this.
So am going back to my bed, to lie for some time, See If I can sleep. I just seem to be
longing so much to go back from this place. Days seem overstretched and nights
unending......

Why do I do what I do?

Thinking Logically I would not have been in the place where I am now. Imagine a person who failed in Mathematics and C programming, with just about average academics, sitting in Switzerland working for a reputed Software company.
But then things are not always what they should be. Like the fact that I cannot explain why I do most of the things I do. Working and communicating with people just the way I do it. I know there is a vast scope of improvement ( thats a better way of saying I dont really think:)) before opening my mouth. I plan to do most of the things in a good way and end up messing everything, not only projects i am involved in ( actuallyI dont remember any project I am involved in completing without being in total mess, at any time of its life cycle, Get better comments from my team), but also talking to people around me who really care about me. I just seem to be so arrogant in talking to them. But all this after I have already done my part.
I consider myself lucky to have so many of the people who care about me around, All friends and project buddies. And I seem to constantly forget them.
Guess its the time I need to redesign the interface correctly....

I am bugged again!

For some 2 weeks,

I did not care about work,

I had food properly,

I spent with a free hand,

Had a bath 2 times in a week,

Went home early, relatively.

 

But yesterday something different happened and is continuing today,

I am tensed about the initial load,

Skipped lunch yesterdays, I did not have breakfast today (had brunch instead),

Did not have a bath even though it is a Saturday.

Was in office till 1:30 in the night, came back at 8:30 in the morning.

Sitting here in the office waiting for the data transfer to happen looking at the logs....

 

Seems the bug which I thought I had successfully cured myself of came back, with more strength this time.

Am back on my earlier working schedule and living habits. Analysing the causes of this.

Nothing found so far...The analysis continues...

Thoughts...

Got a laptop! I think it was real cheap. But only problem is that th keyboard and the operating system are in Deutsch. Not a real problem if I really want to work it out. I can just uninstall the one I have now and install the English one. But that would take some time.

After having the laptop, now I would like to have some time for myself and do some development for myself. Would like to learn something new and brush up system programming again.

Sometimes I think.. Did I make a good decision when I came over to the company I am working for now? Considering the fact that I am not working on a similar technology, I think it was a total waste coming over here. Though I got some good hands-on on the Client Handling and handling pressure situations, this is not what I came here for. Wanted to learn some processes and ways of handling a big project. Handling Big projects in a most unorganised way is what I am doing here. Seems I will have to live this for some time now.

My plans of going back to India are not yet fixed, I would have liked to be there by the End of December, when all my friends in US would be travelling back. But now that is unlikely. Next likely date is only End of Jan. Lets see when I can actually reach there.

Brain waves...

Whole week spent in doing almost nothing. Had some good food. Actually a record of sorts after coming to Basel. Had lunch and dinner for all the days in the week :)
Then had some good discussion with one of my friends. Discussed some things about me very few do actually know. Also had a trip to Baden-Baden in Germany. Pretty good town but bad weather, did not do anything interesting there.
Was just thinking of good old days in my previous company and in EnR, when responsibilities were few and I had some time for myself. Not that there was no work there, had loads of it and much more complex to do that what I am doing here, but there was one factor which is missing now and was very much there. SATISFACTION! Am having a very good exposure of the pressures one can be in, in a company like I am in (you know which :)). But I am not having the satisfaction of doing anything good. This is like having a pot full of holes and plugging it. Each time you plug one, some other opens up. Just fed up of doing this for over one year. Worst part is no point in even trying to improve anything over as I know this is how the company works, this is its proven Business Model, unrivalled by anyone in the industry. Maximum I can do is just get out of here.
Planning to do that soon :)

Working and tensions

Am always used to take the tensions arising out of my work into my life and have a miserable life. Had a good experience yesterday night. I slept early yesterday. One of our servers was not responding. Karthic called me up at around 23:45. Asked me if I can restart the server or call L2 support for getting this done. I was so sleepy that I flatly refused saying offshore would do it anyways in the morning. This was conveyed to my Manager immediately who called me in a matter of 10 mins. He called me back requesting me to go to office. He got the same reply again. And I slept peacefully.

Only when I woke up I realised that this would make my life miserable today. But i decided not to take any tensions today. Came coolly to office. The server crashed today morning. after restart more than half of the programs are not working correctly. Very high escalations going around. Somehow I am very relaxed today.

This seems just the way I look at it. I can take tensions from my work or not worry about anything. The choice is mine. And I am learning the better way of doing it :)

My stability and Decisions

Sometimes I think I am too indecisive and can be manipulated very easily. Every one seems to know this and takes advantage of this fact. Also the fact that I tend to understand others rather than enforce my viewpoint makes my life difficult. Am not sure how I am going to handle this.
Being able to understand others can be of great help in my personal life but is a Bane professionally. I seem to always miss out my viewpoint in a discussion or an argument. Same applies to the decisions that I make. I dont seem to be firm on the decisions I make and tend to change them very frequently. Maybe I am just thinking too much...

First day.

Just thought I should write something about something. What best topics can I get other than me myself :) My going offshore seems to have extended by another month and a half. Am actually getting some good appraisals from the client and also from the Managers of other teams.
After Kalyani(another PA) joining here I hope my workload will be further reduced. This would enable me to work sometime for my development. Planning to get a laptop for myself here.
Am downloading all the SDK needed for windows development now.
Just a thought.. are laptops in India cheaper than say Switzerland, Europe and US?
And are the latest models available? Am finding difficult to get AMD based Laptops. Are they good? Seems a bit cheaper than the Intel ones. Intel has some good processors for laptops like Mobile and Centrino, Dont know if they are one and the same thing.
On the home front, Am planning to take a home loan when I am back to India. This would help in getting some tax benefits and also allow me to settle down faster if need arises.
Being here for some more time allows me to save a bit more than what i initially expected and also save something after my parents trip here and the investment in home.