Me landed back in India on 4th Feb and in Mangalore on 7th Feb. Was so happy to be back here. So happy to see Fawdi again finally. she had brought me a gift, a small teddy, now called CHOTU, a small friendship frame and a card. I did not bring lots of chocolates. Almost the whole team here barring some 5 people were new to me. Slowly got used to them. Enjoyed the first few weeks with nothing much to do. Coffee started regularly, with members of my former team. That included fawdi :) Went for trekking on 2 of the weekends. Quite fun. Fawdi was on bench that time. Nothing to do. She used to come and sit on my desk (literally!!!) for some time. Me and fawdi used to chat on Intranet, go out for shopping. dinner, or just roaming around. Those were some of the most care free days of my life. I did not think about anything. What would people think about us roaming around, more importantly about her, than me.
There is nothing to do in Mangalore on weekends. So Me and Kannan joined the Driving classes.
Meanwhile she went home one weekend after some weekends together. And was on leave on the coming monday and tuesday. I started missing her more then. I got an update then that all her further interviews were on hold till further notice. :) Till she got rid of her braces. Some more time for us to be together.....
Saturday, May 21, 2005
The story.. Part 9
I wanted to come back for another major reason. While at onsite there was no training. I was not gaining any technical knowledge. Not that I was not learning something. I was learning something that many dont get chance to do in early stages of career, Client interaction. Understanding the client needs, and proposing solutions. Won many accolades for that. But I will take that later, in some other blog :)
I talked to my project manager saying that I am tired of working on the same thing again and again and wanted some role change, more client interaction, more into consulting. About my project manager, the less I talk about his managing abilities the better, but he was always good to me. Knowing fully well that Miss K was waiting to come onsite, I asked him to send me offshore. (How my coming offshore would help me getting more client interaction is topic of another blog :)) As expected, he said that was on the cards and there would be a rotation soon. A lousy reason as it sounded to me, This was fine with me. Soon Miss K was at onsite and me giving her basics of the projects I handled. Soon my date of going back was fixed to Feb 4th
All this while I continued to talk with fawdi, But I was still not sure if I would meet again....Since there were new and better proposals coming up for her....
I talked to my project manager saying that I am tired of working on the same thing again and again and wanted some role change, more client interaction, more into consulting. About my project manager, the less I talk about his managing abilities the better, but he was always good to me. Knowing fully well that Miss K was waiting to come onsite, I asked him to send me offshore. (How my coming offshore would help me getting more client interaction is topic of another blog :)) As expected, he said that was on the cards and there would be a rotation soon. A lousy reason as it sounded to me, This was fine with me. Soon Miss K was at onsite and me giving her basics of the projects I handled. Soon my date of going back was fixed to Feb 4th
All this while I continued to talk with fawdi, But I was still not sure if I would meet again....Since there were new and better proposals coming up for her....
Friday, May 20, 2005
The story.. Part 8
I hoped to travel back by end of December. But then it got extended. Meanwhile her parents consulted some astrologer. It was predicted that she should get married by October 2005 or else she would not be marrying for the next 2 years. Search started for a groom with greater intensity. She used to go home every weekend for interviews. I used to tease her a lot those days with names of all the people who used to come to meet her. Back of my mind the thought that I will not be able to see her again... I had updates about each of her interviews, we used to chat when she used to go home too, for hours. Soon I was a known name to her parents.
Meanwhile on the projects front we had a major relase in the month of Jan. This freed a lot of resources onsite. Also there was no major project coming up. There were some projects going on, but nothing that could last for more than 2 months. I saw my chance of going back.
One of my friends in NonSAP project in Basel wanted his wife to be onsite. He was an important member in the team. He had to be onsite. He simply refused to be onsite if his wife is not there. He had her inducted into our team due to her J2EE background. He also got assurance from Account manager that she would be the next one to come onsite. But the next project was nowhere to be seen. She had to wait....
Meanwhile on the projects front we had a major relase in the month of Jan. This freed a lot of resources onsite. Also there was no major project coming up. There were some projects going on, but nothing that could last for more than 2 months. I saw my chance of going back.
One of my friends in NonSAP project in Basel wanted his wife to be onsite. He was an important member in the team. He had to be onsite. He simply refused to be onsite if his wife is not there. He had her inducted into our team due to her J2EE background. He also got assurance from Account manager that she would be the next one to come onsite. But the next project was nowhere to be seen. She had to wait....
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
The story.. Part 7
Not thinking of what would happen next, we continued talking, mailing and messaging. I thought I can come back by December end. I made plans the celebrate new year together.
Then came November, when my parents and sister came to Basel. I went on a one week long leave. Celebrated Diwali with my parents at my home. All this while I continued to talk to her. Since I was not in office at this time, she used my web ID for mails. I told her i would not be able to access the mails quite often as I would be travelling. Mails continued nevertheless into my account. I created a separate folder for her mails and named it JUNK. Sms too continued regularly. Dad did ask me sometimes who this Fawdi was. Told him that she was my girlfriend. Knowing me he did not take that seriously. I introduced my sister to her once on yahoo and they too started chatting. Then I went to Paris with my parents. did not have internet access there. Also phone was switched off. So no contact with her for a whole day. Next morning I searched for the nearest cyber cafe and checked my mails. Some 20 mails in there from her. missing me... replied back. Pat came the reply.. She was in office and getting my mails. Had a small chat that time. I returned back from Paris to Basel while my parents continued the trip to london. This was a dream come true for my Mom, who used to say "london la challi" (Going to london) to small children whenver she used to go out. :)
There was another first time in that trip... First time I saw my dads watery eyes as I dropped them at the Zurich airport. Somehow managed to keep myself patient and saw them off. Cried on my way back to Basel.... only person knowing that was again Fawdi.
Then came November, when my parents and sister came to Basel. I went on a one week long leave. Celebrated Diwali with my parents at my home. All this while I continued to talk to her. Since I was not in office at this time, she used my web ID for mails. I told her i would not be able to access the mails quite often as I would be travelling. Mails continued nevertheless into my account. I created a separate folder for her mails and named it JUNK. Sms too continued regularly. Dad did ask me sometimes who this Fawdi was. Told him that she was my girlfriend. Knowing me he did not take that seriously. I introduced my sister to her once on yahoo and they too started chatting. Then I went to Paris with my parents. did not have internet access there. Also phone was switched off. So no contact with her for a whole day. Next morning I searched for the nearest cyber cafe and checked my mails. Some 20 mails in there from her. missing me... replied back. Pat came the reply.. She was in office and getting my mails. Had a small chat that time. I returned back from Paris to Basel while my parents continued the trip to london. This was a dream come true for my Mom, who used to say "london la challi" (Going to london) to small children whenver she used to go out. :)
There was another first time in that trip... First time I saw my dads watery eyes as I dropped them at the Zurich airport. Somehow managed to keep myself patient and saw them off. Cried on my way back to Basel.... only person knowing that was again Fawdi.
Monday, May 16, 2005
The story.. Part 6
Then some incidents happenned. I heard her crying on the phone. Was terribly upset. Dont know why. I was waiting to see her after that. But my onsite was not going to end soon, I was put into another project there. My fourth one at onsite. When I asked my manager about returning offshore, I was told that you may be here till Syngenta account is there with our company or till you are there i the company :(
Meanwhile my talks with Fawdi were becoming more and more frequent. I used to tall to her for long hours and tease her a lot. Sometimes we used to have fights on this. But mend them quickly as netiher of us could live without the mails and calls. During this time, Binoy, Kannan, Priya, Nithya returned offshore. I was left with Sreejith and Piyush. Not that I was allergic to them, but I did not fit in their company. I started to be more and more alone. And at the same time talking more and more with Fawdi. Some day we discussed what would happen if we would never be able to meet again. Considering the fact that my onsite trip was getting extended and her parents were already searching for a groom. Chances were bright that by the time I reach offshore, she would be married happily.
One of our project mates got married and she left the company to go to UK. This again brought the discussion whether we would meet again... I tried some simulations to see what would happen then. These were damn successful :) the simulations were successful, but i realised it would be almost impossible for me to remain a week without talking, mailing or sending messages to her... I was so used to her presence...
Meanwhile my talks with Fawdi were becoming more and more frequent. I used to tall to her for long hours and tease her a lot. Sometimes we used to have fights on this. But mend them quickly as netiher of us could live without the mails and calls. During this time, Binoy, Kannan, Priya, Nithya returned offshore. I was left with Sreejith and Piyush. Not that I was allergic to them, but I did not fit in their company. I started to be more and more alone. And at the same time talking more and more with Fawdi. Some day we discussed what would happen if we would never be able to meet again. Considering the fact that my onsite trip was getting extended and her parents were already searching for a groom. Chances were bright that by the time I reach offshore, she would be married happily.
One of our project mates got married and she left the company to go to UK. This again brought the discussion whether we would meet again... I tried some simulations to see what would happen then. These were damn successful :) the simulations were successful, but i realised it would be almost impossible for me to remain a week without talking, mailing or sending messages to her... I was so used to her presence...
The story.. Part 5
Not knowing what to do... I called in expert advice. Miss Priya Prabhakar, Aunty, as I fondly call her. I showed her the mails to confirm if what I was thinking was correct and if Fawdi was already infatuated with me. She asked me clearly what do I think about her. Told her that I did not think anything about her. Then she saw the mail and asked me to relax. Tell her whatever you feel and dont take this any forward. So I mailed her back with whatever I said. For about a week I could not talk to her properly. Finally she replied that what she meant was that she was so used to talking to me and getting my mails that if I stop all of a sudden it would be difficult for her. I am still not sure if what she said at time was just to so that I dont be to tensed and worried and continue normally. Also I am afraid to ask her again now, already asked 100 times till now. I felt a bit relaxed after that. Aunty helped me so much in this difficult time. Talking to me and never leaving me to be sad.
Priya then advised me to continue as friends as we had now clarified whatever we were feeling. The started flood of mails and messages. At one point of time I was spending almost 30 CHF per week on my mobile with a major chunk going to sms. Chatting and Mailing continued...
Priya then advised me to continue as friends as we had now clarified whatever we were feeling. The started flood of mails and messages. At one point of time I was spending almost 30 CHF per week on my mobile with a major chunk going to sms. Chatting and Mailing continued...
The story.. Part 4
My project started getting more and more critical. I had to do nightouts. On the other side her project also had serious delivery lapses. She also used to do nightouts. We would talk to each other ocassionaly in the night. Relaxing a bit after long working hours. I got a mobile there and we used to send messages to each other. Even if it was very costly for her to send international SMS. We also used to chat on Yahoo messenger on weekends.
Finally the critical project reached a stable state. As Piyush began to handle the project more and more independently, I was moved to new project. She was also moved out to another project. Our friendship which had by now taken firm grounds continued to grow.
Slowly the number of people in Basel from our team grew. At one time there were 7 of us youngsters there. (Okay 6 if you dont count me as youngster ;)) We used to roam around on the weekends. On one weekend we went to mount Titlis for a trip. Binoy and me were sitting on one side of the train near the window. I happenned to get her sms at that time. Binoy snatched the phone from me and saw it. It was nothing but a Missing you sms. Not that Binoy was not aware of this. He immediately cautioned me that this friendship could easily turn painful. More so for her. I was not thinking of that till that point of time. Dont get involved too much was what he said.
Coming back to Basel, I dashed off a mail to her. She was at her home at that time. I told her what Binoy said and adviced her not to get involved too much. Not expecting a reply at that time I slept. Checking my mails in the morning I found a mail from her. The phrase that caught my attention was "its already late". I went numb and tense. Did not know even what to think...
Finally the critical project reached a stable state. As Piyush began to handle the project more and more independently, I was moved to new project. She was also moved out to another project. Our friendship which had by now taken firm grounds continued to grow.
Slowly the number of people in Basel from our team grew. At one time there were 7 of us youngsters there. (Okay 6 if you dont count me as youngster ;)) We used to roam around on the weekends. On one weekend we went to mount Titlis for a trip. Binoy and me were sitting on one side of the train near the window. I happenned to get her sms at that time. Binoy snatched the phone from me and saw it. It was nothing but a Missing you sms. Not that Binoy was not aware of this. He immediately cautioned me that this friendship could easily turn painful. More so for her. I was not thinking of that till that point of time. Dont get involved too much was what he said.
Coming back to Basel, I dashed off a mail to her. She was at her home at that time. I told her what Binoy said and adviced her not to get involved too much. Not expecting a reply at that time I slept. Checking my mails in the morning I found a mail from her. The phrase that caught my attention was "its already late". I went numb and tense. Did not know even what to think...
Sunday, May 15, 2005
The story.. Part 3
You guessed it right... Otherwise there would not be this story let alone the part 3 :)
We still used to send mails to each other. Frequency was reduced to only one or two a day now. I was getting busy with my activities (Was my first client interaction!!). She also got busy in the project.
My stay in Basel seemed to extend for more than 6 months. We got a project, a huge one. We were to staff more people in the project. I would be leading the same with around 25 people offshore. For those who dont know, My previous company had 17 people including the chai wala. I was all excited and tensed. I did not want to mess this up. I hoped that she got into our project. She was in a different project and was the lone person there.
Then something happenned. Now it seems all was preplanned :) The project she was working got scraped and I was able to talk to my manager and get her blocked before any other projects could pick her up. Not that there were many other projects anyways :) So finally she was in to our project. We initiated the project. This was going to be the biggest project we had undertaken and I needed help in this. Piyush came onsite to help me out. I was leading the project from onsite and with her being the lead developer offshore. We continued to exchange mails. Frequency increased to 5-10 mails (Not official okay :)) with occassional calls.
Again as time would have it, There came another project. High profile. Fully taken up onsite. No one else was there who could take that. I was pulled out of the current project and asked to take the high risk one. :( Was busy again. No time to mail and talk. She continued to be in touch anyways. And now I realise how important keeping in touch at that point was...
We still used to send mails to each other. Frequency was reduced to only one or two a day now. I was getting busy with my activities (Was my first client interaction!!). She also got busy in the project.
My stay in Basel seemed to extend for more than 6 months. We got a project, a huge one. We were to staff more people in the project. I would be leading the same with around 25 people offshore. For those who dont know, My previous company had 17 people including the chai wala. I was all excited and tensed. I did not want to mess this up. I hoped that she got into our project. She was in a different project and was the lone person there.
Then something happenned. Now it seems all was preplanned :) The project she was working got scraped and I was able to talk to my manager and get her blocked before any other projects could pick her up. Not that there were many other projects anyways :) So finally she was in to our project. We initiated the project. This was going to be the biggest project we had undertaken and I needed help in this. Piyush came onsite to help me out. I was leading the project from onsite and with her being the lead developer offshore. We continued to exchange mails. Frequency increased to 5-10 mails (Not official okay :)) with occassional calls.
Again as time would have it, There came another project. High profile. Fully taken up onsite. No one else was there who could take that. I was pulled out of the current project and asked to take the high risk one. :( Was busy again. No time to mail and talk. She continued to be in touch anyways. And now I realise how important keeping in touch at that point was...
The story.. Part 2
But that was not what was suppossed to be..
We were still in contact. Not talking directly though. I was in a secure zone with very little time to roam around and she was not allowed to enter the zone. We used to write mails first. Then started the intranet chat. Finally came to sending sms. The foundations of friendship were being laid.
If you people know me, you would agree with me that I am a pretty brainless entity talking anything to anyone i know more than 10 mins. (Okay those who dont agree can send me mails later ;)) So we continued talking even after not seeing each other for days together. One day got a mail from her saying that she was going to her home to meet her friend (school friend I guess) on a weekend. (Its usual for truck loads of malayalees here to go home on weekends!) I wished her a happy journey and a good stay at home. When she came back she told me something which I would not expect her to tell someone like me (I mean, we were not very close friends yet!) She told me that she cried a lot and was still feeling sad. Seems this was the last time she would see her friend. I tried to console her. And I did that successfully. Though this incident in itself does not have any significance, this was the first time she had told me that she cried. And I did not like that...
From that day on, I was more free when talking to her. We were becoming closer friends. I would not still call her my best friends, but a very good friend. Someone who trusted me...
Then again... as this friendship was starting to take off...
Her project mate was to be released for training. She was suppossed to take care of the whole support. This meant she would have lesser time. I was suppossed to go to Basel, switzerland for a 4 month long assignment. I thought this was end of it... We will not be able to maintain contact now...
We were still in contact. Not talking directly though. I was in a secure zone with very little time to roam around and she was not allowed to enter the zone. We used to write mails first. Then started the intranet chat. Finally came to sending sms. The foundations of friendship were being laid.
If you people know me, you would agree with me that I am a pretty brainless entity talking anything to anyone i know more than 10 mins. (Okay those who dont agree can send me mails later ;)) So we continued talking even after not seeing each other for days together. One day got a mail from her saying that she was going to her home to meet her friend (school friend I guess) on a weekend. (Its usual for truck loads of malayalees here to go home on weekends!) I wished her a happy journey and a good stay at home. When she came back she told me something which I would not expect her to tell someone like me (I mean, we were not very close friends yet!) She told me that she cried a lot and was still feeling sad. Seems this was the last time she would see her friend. I tried to console her. And I did that successfully. Though this incident in itself does not have any significance, this was the first time she had told me that she cried. And I did not like that...
From that day on, I was more free when talking to her. We were becoming closer friends. I would not still call her my best friends, but a very good friend. Someone who trusted me...
Then again... as this friendship was starting to take off...
Her project mate was to be released for training. She was suppossed to take care of the whole support. This meant she would have lesser time. I was suppossed to go to Basel, switzerland for a 4 month long assignment. I thought this was end of it... We will not be able to maintain contact now...
Saturday, May 14, 2005
The story.. Part 1
Am writing this as she travels in a bus to Pune... and I am already missing her.
Fawdi is a small, shy, silent reserved girl having large soda water glasses and has braces. Came to our project somewhere in November 2003. She joined as a part of second expansion of the project along with one other member. Liked her as a technical person. Was not actually the brightest person around, but worked hard. Tried to understand things. I gave her some gap analysis of the requirements that we had gathered. She did not have a clue what to do! Expected that as no one would have slightest Idea what my domain was let alone doing a high level stuff like gap analysis. Even then she did a good job. She did make some mistakes. I told her that I did not expect her to be perfect at the first time itself. :) As nothing good stays with me for long, soon she was moved into another project.....And that seemed to be the end of it.
Fawdi is a small, shy, silent reserved girl having large soda water glasses and has braces. Came to our project somewhere in November 2003. She joined as a part of second expansion of the project along with one other member. Liked her as a technical person. Was not actually the brightest person around, but worked hard. Tried to understand things. I gave her some gap analysis of the requirements that we had gathered. She did not have a clue what to do! Expected that as no one would have slightest Idea what my domain was let alone doing a high level stuff like gap analysis. Even then she did a good job. She did make some mistakes. I told her that I did not expect her to be perfect at the first time itself. :) As nothing good stays with me for long, soon she was moved into another project.....And that seemed to be the end of it.
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